INTERVIEW: Deeper Life Doctrine Is Old School; "God Is A Social God"- Shade Toyin-Kehinde

Shade Toyin-Kehinde

Mrs. Shade Toyin-Kehinde of Agape Generation International Church, tells ‘Nonye Ben-Nwankwo about married life and why she encourages all women to have a career/business

What brought about your annual programme, All Ladies Affair Business/Career forum?

A lot of women shy away from doing business. They are usually behind their male counterparts in businesses and careers. This became a burden in my heart and I decided to help them grow up in the areas of business and career. I encourage entrepreneurial growth. A lot of women sit down at home either as housewives or petty traders. If you want to trade, there is an appropriate way to package yourself. Some handle their businesses with levity thinking it is all about making money to feed and clothe. We are out to tell people that business is not only about making money but also making an impact and touching lives.

But women are mostly seen as helpmates and not necessarily expected to ‘make money and make an impact’ as you said.

If you want to be a helper, be a helper indeed. I wouldn’t want to be a weak helper. I want to give help that will avail much. I always tell women to do the best they can. Women should be an authority and make good use of their God-given talents and virtues. I advocate that women don’t leave their talents untapped. Do the best you can so that when you are gone, you will be remembered as somebody who touched lives.

But taking care of the kids and the home and even the husband, is that not enough ‘work’? Must a woman make money for her to be recognised?

I have three children. I take care of them and my husband. I pay attention to a lot of details around me. Combining all these is not easy. But there is enough help with God. He can help you do everything. Sitting down and idling away is wasting your destiny. You must find a middle ground where you will do well. A woman should be able to sit down, plan her day and know the percentage of time to give to her home, business and career so that no single area will suffer. You can balance it. I think a lot of women are lazy. If they can have ‘free lunch,’ they are okay; they wouldn’t want to stress themselves. That’s not a proper way to live.

Some people might feel you are a feminist, going by the way you talk…

Oh no. I am one of the women who speak against women liberation. It is a woman who is in bondage who feels that she is caged that looks for a voice through the women liberation movement to free herself. But I am not under any bondage. I have a good husband who has given me time and enough room to be myself and be a blessing to my generation. Every man will be excited to see his wife as a blessing to others.

Most men get jealous when their wives make more money than them…

Most African men feel that way. They want to boost their ego. They would rather prefer to be the ones that their voices are heard. But those who know that their wives are human beings, those who know that gender doesn’t matter when it comes to making an impact, those are the men who release their wives to be a blessing. I am fortunate to have married that kind of man. A lot of other ‘macho’ men are learning how to allow their wives to be who they should be.

You got born again at a very young age. Don’t you think you missed out on all the ‘fun’ you should have had as a young girl?

God specially put me in a family where I could be specially guided. I wasn’t contaminated. Our parents started taking us to church right from when we were in our mother’s womb. My parents were ministers in the Deeper Life Church. My mother is late but my father is still a pastor. I became born again as a teenager. While my mates were running after boys,  we were always in church. My orientation has always been about God. It guided me till marriage. I would say I married right. My husband got born again as a teenager too.

But it is believed that if you didn’t do what you should do when you were young, you would do it when you get older…

That happens when that life is devoid of Christ. A life lived by Christ will be able to retain Godly values and live by them, no matter how long. I don’t try to see what is out there or go out for ‘enjoyment.’ All those things we think are enjoyment are not what they are. The right attitude to living is to live right.

That means you must have lived a boring life…

Come and see what I have enjoyed all these years. Try it and  you will find out that it is the best life anybody could wish to live.

For somebody who lived a holy life, how did you get married? Didn’t you feel awkward when it came to dating and courting your husband?

When you have a balanced attitude to Christian living, you will have the most exciting life to enjoy. Gone are those days when churches taught only rules like “wear turtleneck clothes,” “cover your hair” and “don’t wear earrings.” You hide under religion. It is no longer so. We are being enlightened. God wants us to live the most exciting life. God is a social God. I go out with my husband all the time. We take a break and go away from our working environment. At times, we spend weekends in hotels. We do that from time to time. We are enjoying our lives.

You don’t look like a 48-year-old at all…

I hear that all the time. I have grown up kids. My first child is 20.

Most people see their pastors and their wives as role models who they don’t expect to see fall. Don’t you get tired of trying to impress people all the time?

Pastors are human beings. They can make mistakes. They are not infallible. It is only God who cannot fall. You only need to ask God for guidance. A lot of people read the pastors as their bible. They believe everything you do is right. I tell people not to live their lives following the pastor. Everybody should live a godly life.

Don’t you feel jealous or insecure when ladies come to your husband under the guise of getting counselling and they try to seduce him?

When you are sure of the man you are married to, when you know him to be a man of no double standard, then you don’t need to open your eyes to wonder what he is doing. You shouldn’t be a stumbling block to hinder him from blessing people. I know some women set out to seduce the pastor. When we see that, we know what to do. When you come to him and he knows that it is not the main counselling that you come for, he will direct you to me. But then again, to create no room for such, there is a transparent window separating our offices. I see everything going on in his office and he sees what is happening in mine.

What do you hope to achieve?

We hope to achieve empowerment for women. We need a lot of help from organisations. We were able to get assistance from a few companies. We did the fifth edition of the programme few months back. Women are coming out as entrepreneurs. We need to help them with grants to start off their business.






-PUNCH